May 2008
5 posts
WatchThe Scene (Watch in HD here!)
1996
1996 has been the best year of music for our generation. Pinkerton, Odelay, Endtroducing…, If You’re Feeling Sinister, Being There, Antichrist Superstar, Evil Empire, Sublime, Crash, Fashion Nugget, The Score, All Eyez on Me, Bringing Down the Horse, Tragic Kingdom Am I missing any?
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My Tombstone
“Here lies a man who always took too many napkins.” I’ve been working on that, though, so perhaps “Here lies a man terrified of haircuts.” I can’t see my views on haircuts ever changing as I, by default, don’t trust barbers.
April 2008
29 posts
Tall Girl (Version 2) Recorded January of 2007 in...
bumbly bee
i have drowned nearly all of the neighborhood’s dogs and served them to the bees. twice i have stolen large canines from the nearby animal shelter and on my third visit, i notice a fairly accurate sketch of my face hanging behind the front desk. in reality, though, my nose is much wider and i feel very strongly that the shelter is trying to vilify my likeness. with their food source...
when i die
the trucks like waves far off i imagine it gold an infinite basement for a moment i am opening red wooden doors to rooms of carpet and used furniture great-grandmothers’ shelves holding VCRs and rusted weights and objects nearly passing as antiques i imagine the weight of a house settling under weekend footsteps above and the sound of a garage door
the last time i used a payphone
there was no static in the air or signature lines on paper only a heavy coin one that we touched and let go to find us grounded again when we broke bills it was when we carried change in our pockets we could hear each other coming
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Kansas gold Farm acre west People here ain’t...
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Girl with the Hair (in no way related to 4/18/08...
For White Boys Who Have Considered a Macbook Pro...
Boy in Khaki I cried in line at Starbucks today. Boy in American made 100% organic cotton t-shirt Why? Boy in Khaki I don’t know still. I even tried asking Goog’ on my iPhone. Boy in American made 100% organic cotton t-shirt The last time I used my iPhone in public I was at Whole Foods and, get this, I researched on my phone which seafood was most fresh as well as environmentally...
Vandalizing Wikipedia
Missing References or Sources (January 2008) Dentists, in writing or speech, use several different Dental notation systems for associating information to a specific tooth. The three most common systems are the FDI World Dental Federation notation, Universal numbering system (dental), and, less often, the Palmer notation method, after Alfred Palmer (b.1962, St. Louis). Palmer practiced dentistry...
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Letter to Girl with Hair
To the girl with the hair, Look at all the people on the street. I can see them through the window. Let’s escape from this business function. It’s 5:30 PM, my favorite time of day, and eight stories below me, there is a man pouring a golden red beer. I can smell it from here. There’s a boy selling newspapers on the street corner for a dime. Let’s use the fire escape and...
Grass This song is taking lots of shapes. This is...
Paradelle
Wait here while I paint my house Wait here while I paint my house Which aisle can I find the circular shaped objects? Which aisle can I find the circular shaped objects? Wait, which here paint aisle can I find my house while the circular shaped objects? We got space out here in the west We got space out here in the west Before it crumbles under the weight of birds Before it crumbles under the...
Payphone
Why Spelling Bees are Bullshit
Spelling is not riding a bicycle or a pattern in blood but a mistake unowned when even the glass of water before me is databases and barcodes (a young entrepreneur with a pure idea, “I’ll sell water,” now in the hospital for tetanus, after cutting his foot on the ladder onto an above-ground pool behind his mansion).
“It’s weird for a smoker to pay attention to forecasts”
– D. Andrew Quigley
Ghazal
Was the dog behind the register bred before me? Days of our Lives credits scroll through my head before me. Two-grain, three-grain, seven-grain, or multi-grain? I question the bread before me. “Many childrens’ skin feels alike,” the sign read before me, “please ensure you are holding the child you arrived with before leaving the bed.” Before me, There were no...
March 2008
13 posts
Haiku of the Day
Bunk-bed businesses banned from advertising near second grade recess.
I tend to write about girls and summer a lot.
More fun with Greg and movie quotes.
Seven Hills Homeowner's Association, 04/24/03
First item on the agenda: the Halversons have been warned, twice now, to remove the tiki torches and flamingoes from their front lawn. On a related note, the Connellys, please stop burying your daughter’s hamsters in your front lawn. There is a black male wearing two left shoes reselling expired Thin Mints door-to-door for nearly double the retail value. Please also be warned that there have...
Greg and I had fun with this one. We had just...
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Haiku of the day
The retired mailman opens his box to nothing but gun magazines.
Black Girl
